Juuble Halloween

The 2008 Sexy Nerd Costume Finals

By Marquis Hunt

This is the match-up of the ages. The monumental equivalent to Celtics vs. Lakers, or more fittingly, Roe v. Wade. Sarah Palin has become the October surprise, but can she live up to incumbent glasses-wearing hottie Tina Fey?

In this article, we will look a the numbers, the facts, the spins, the advantages, the costumes, and the sex appeal, and come up with the winner for the Female Sexy Librarian Costume of 2008.

0

Coaching Staff:

You have to give it to Sarah Palin’s staff. Before she was a vice-presidential candidate, you would not have been able to differentiate her from a professional female bowler ( or wacky Moose Hunter ). Now, the McCain coordinators propped her up on $150,000 worth of wardrobe, and prepped her with a smile and appeal that have filled the dreams of males in the 19-95 demographic all over the world.

They gave Palin a bark as well. She stood firm against Biden in the vice-prez debate, and she a way with words with describing Obama and his amazing friends. This is the playbook of Republican campaign whiz Steve Schmidt. His teacher, Karl Rove, had given him schemes that would get an 80’s toaster elected president.

Tina Fey’s coaching staff is a one man coaching staff on her team. She writes (wrote/ still writing/ whatever) her own SNL’s skits, her 30 Rock episodes, her viral videos are off the chart, and her intellectual jabs on the Weekend Update has solidified her “liberal nerdy hottie” status for at least a decade to come.

Advtantage:Sarah Palin

Hats off to anyone who can turn a Soccer Mom into a MILF phenomenon.

0

Inside The Numbers:

Tina Fey has been a star writer and cast member for SNL for many years.  She has single-handedly brought SNL back from the dead, and 30 Rock will probably receive its highest ratings this upcoming season.

But Google doesn’t lie. I typed in the following keywords and here are the results:

1. “Tina Fey” – 5,770,000  vs.  “Sarah Palin” – 38,900,000
2. Tina Fey Hot – 2,609,000  vs. Sarah Palin Hot – 4,770,000
3. Tina Fey Halloween – 471,000 vs. Sarah Palin Halloween – 1,300,000

Here is the kicker: Using the Google 2001 search, you clearly see who has longevity:

1. Google Search 2001: “Tina Fey”- 658 vs. “Sarah Palin” – 0

Palin’s hot on the trail this year, but aren’t we supposed to look at a candidate’s experience?

Advantage:Tina Fey

0

The Offense:

Tina Fey’s costume, along with very good humor, comes at a huge advantage at parties. Not only will males try to jump your bones, but they will be laughing in their bones as well.

The hardest part to deliver such a potent offense, is to play the part and actually be funny. Women aren’t usually well-known for absurd and hilarious banter, and failing to produce can distort the meaning of the costume, and even get you confused with Sarah Palin.

Which in the end, makes the Sarah Palin costume so dangerous. You will have liberal males reaching over the isle and conservatives trying to help with the plumbing. No personality is needed, other than the occasional jab against big government, Obama, and regulated markets, or affirmation that you are better in bed than the actress playing Sarah Palin in an election-day release porno. The numbers show: You will look like Sarah Palin even though you dress up as Tina Fey or a Sexy Librarian. Win-Win.

Advantage:Sarah Palin in a blowout.

0

The Defense:

Sarah Palin’s kryptonite, the media perception of her intelligence, could be the hardest part to overcome. Around the political crowd, your costume, as well as your views, will be critiqued by the most stringent of Fox News and CNN watchers. The jabs could work in your favor, but if you aren’t privy to politics, then it will only confirm their suspicions of your intelligence.

The defense could be strengthened by being around people who don’t care about politics, or bringing a similar political figure to assist you ( Dick Cheney, Joe the Plumber ).

Tina Fey costume impersonators don’t have to worry. Impersonating her for Halloween; you are a goddess. The only defense you need is a broom to scoot away all the sexy librarian-loving men. You might get a Palin girl who will accost you for mimicking Palin on SNL , but she is just jealous that you have a seven-year domination. Let the Palin impersonator moan and groan.

Advantage:Tina Fey

0

Intangibles:

Sarah Palin is a politician. Tina Fey is a comedian. Fey could lose the election from competition of other comedian hotties such as Sarah Silverman. The “Nader” effect hurts Fey, but there is no competition for Palin in Washington DC.  Advantage: Palin

Tina Fey can be hotter. Watch the nightclub scene in Baby Momma, and you’ll know what I mean. Palin, this may be her only good year. Have you seen what George Bush looks like after eight years? Advantage: Fey.

Sarah Palin is Catholic. Tina Fey is Greek Orthodox. I’ll leave that one alone. Advantage: Push.

Yearbook Photo: Advantage: Palin

Sarah Palin Shoots Moose AND her favorite meal is Moose Stew. Tina Fey is a comedian. Advantage: Palin

Tina Fey: Cute-Girl-next-door-who-is-hot-but-no-one-really-says-it-until-one-person-does-then-everyone-agrees. Sarah Palin:Politician-who-is-not-hot-but-was-way-better-than-Hilary-and-looks-good-for-five-kids-and-the-Milf-factor-has-swept-America-by-storm.

And The Winner Is:

Tina Fey

You can’t pull the trigger on the tried-and-true champion. Sarah Palin, in all her beauty, her exploding popularity, her simple upbringing and fire in her position, should’ve easily stolen the award this year. But Tina Fey has been the true nerd costume hottie for so many years, she doesn’t even have to try, and I would choose late-night banter over midnight oil drilling talks any day.

So congratulations, Tina Fey, you are the champion of the 2008 sexy nerd trophy. For everyone else, both the costumes are essentially the same; Look sexy, have fun, and get a broom. Not as a Halloween accessory, but swipe away all those men reaching across the aisles to lay the pipes. Zing.

Please, Share with Digg, Facebook etc. if you like the article:)